This isn't good!
I wake up and all my friends are running around the camp site. They move rapidly towards the swings. Joe went and did a backflip off the swing. So I say “teach me how to do that!”
“OK” says Joe, “When you get to the front of the swing, just lean back.”
At that point I feel like it's going to be to easy, so I get on and start swinging. I am at a good height now, so I lean back. I did it! My legs were doing who knows what but i still did it. That feeling when you land it is just awesome.
A few turns later I’m doing them really well so I start doing backflips with straight legs. First try I do it perfectly. I start to try do the backflips while twisting. Then we have a dumb idea, but I still try it anyway. The dumb idea is to do it off the back of the swing.
I feel so nervous but no one can know. So I get on and I start swinging.
I let go, lean back and say to myself ‘I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it…’
Bang! My face is covered in dirt, it's all scratched up but I still don't cry. I feel petrified! I clean myself up and continue my day. Now I have to try and build up my confidence to try it again.
In this piece of writing I learnt to write in the present tense, to have only one ‘and’ in every sentence, and write about one emotion. I wanted the reader to know I was writing about a sad/scared emotion.
I went well I because I put my writing in the present tense and my punctuation in all my sentences. To show the reader I was scared I said “I feel so nervous but no one can know.”
My next step is to use more descriptive words in my writing. To do that a will look in the dictionary, thesaurus or bright sparks book.